Tag: Death

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Suffering?

My dear sister,

We would never admit it.  We would never admit that sometimes as believers we think we should not suffer.  We think since the Lord, in His mercy, has chosen to open our eyes to the truth of the gospel, the rest of life should be easy, or at least endurable.  God would never allow “bad things” to happen to His chosen children.  And yet suffering comes.

Suffering comes when we least expect it and in ways we are not prepared…otherwise it is not suffering: the loss of a loved one after a battle with an illness or a “random” accident; losing a job because you confessed Christ; or being put in prison for the sake of the gospel in a land where the church hides underground.  I find in my life, it is never the major suffering that really catches me off guard, it is the tiny pebbles that grind my heart to cry to the Lord and ask why!  Why can’t the Lord see that I have had enough, endured enough, trusted enough, and I need the pain to stop!  Even death seems like a respite at some point.

Sister we are not alone in our thinking.  David cries throughout the Psalms with a screaming heart to the Lord to end his suffering, to save his child, and to stop the death screams of his kingdom.  Paul prays to the Lord to end his own thorn in the flesh.  And Jesus sweats blood as He prays in the garden that His Father would take the cup of suffering away from Him.  Why Lord?  Why do your people bear this pain?

The pain comes from the curse of Adam.  When sin entered the world, we no longer were able to experience life apart from pain (Romans 8:20-23a). Yet despite the fact that the world is accursed, we know God is in control of all suffering (Is. 45:7; Amos 3:6; Lam 3:37-38; Eph 1:11; Pro 16:9; 19:21; Matt 10:29; Pro 21:1).  In fact, God promised a Deliverer to break the curse forever and to give the hope of eternal life with no suffering!  Along with this expectant hope, we are also promised that the Lord is with us IN the suffering as well.  He does not leave us to bear the pain alone.  Psalm 23 speaks of how the Lord is with us in the shadow of death and Romans 8:38-39 says that nothing can separate or remove us from the love of God.  What a comfort to know that as believers in Christ, the God of the universe is not surprised by our suffering, He knows our suffering and understands it, is with us through our suffering, and gives us hope of a life without suffering!  Praise Him!

So why do we get suffering at all?  Why not just have us know about it without experiencing it?  Oh sister, how can we know the comfort of Christ without going through suffering?  How can we understand the sweetness of the cross without going there ourselves?  How can we become more like Christ unless we suffer (2 Cor. 4:16-18)?  How can we truly know God in Christ without suffering (Phil. 3:10)?  Can we really trust that the Lord is who He says He is without suffering?  Don’t we create our dearest friends by enduring a trial with them?  Don’t we find out what our heart truly desires when we suffer?  Do we want comfort?  Do we want family?  Do we want our way?  Do we want our schedule?  Do we want control?

Suffering is never easy.  Suffering makes us holy.  Suffering acquaints us with our Lord and drives us to Him.  And that is just where we need to be.

Your sister,

Colleen

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Testimony of a Broken Heart

 

“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”  ~ Psalm 147:3

Dearest sister,

Though grief may come to us in many different ways, the two most common ways are death and heartbreak. Heartbreak doesn’t have to come from breaking up with your boyfriend or the end of a marriage. Heartbreak can come from the loss of a friendship, the behavior of our friends and loved ones, and even the acknowledgement of our own personal sins. No matter how it comes, dear sister, having our hearts broken is a difficult and painful experience.

Some time ago I was struggling with the loss of a friendship.  Actually it was the loss of a “season of friendship” that was very dear to my heart and that I cherished deeply. Circumstances demanded a change in the way I viewed our relationship but I wasn’t ready to accept this new season of friendship where I played a lesser role in my friend’s life. After confiding in my mom one night she told me, “Kayla, you need to grieve this loss.”  I hadn’t realized that I was need of grieving but I did know that my heart was broken. I even felt betrayed, unloved, and abandoned. Did my friend consciously inflict these feelings? Was it my friend’s fault that I was feeling this way; No, of course not.  But in my selfishness I had grown bitter and angry. So I heeded my mother’s words and I grieved the “loss” I was feeling.

Once I let the grieving process begin, the Lord began to change my heart and started to heal the brokenness within me. Oh the sweetness of our faithful Savior. Oh the richness His healing brings. With time I was able to accept this different kind of friendship and once again enjoy the company of my beloved friend.

The lesson to be learned here, dear sister, is that if we do not allow ourselves to feel our hurt and to grieve the loss we are feeling whether it be from a broken friendship, the death of a loved one or any other cause, we have the potential to grow bitter towards God and/or others. Dear sister, you do not want your life to be defined by bitterness or anger! I want to encourage you to lift up your cares to the Lord, tell Him of your grief because he cares for you (1 Peter 5:7). And remember our Lord was called a man of sorrows and described as being acquainted with grief (Isaiah 53:3). He understands your hurt; He knows your grief. So grieve, dear one. Cry your heart out, for afterward comes healing and a peace that passes all understanding.

 

Your sister,

Kayla

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The Dragon’s Final Fatal Spasms

Dear sister,

~I had gotten the email Sunday morning Thailand time.  It shocked me to the core.  While living in Virginia I worked with an amazing Young Life staff who taught me how to meet teens where they were at.  There was one couple in particular who just exuded a love for Christ and each other that I had yet to see elsewhere. They were magnets to teens seeking joy and peace in the throws of high school chaos and awkwardness.  The husband came home from work that day to have lunch with his wife and brand new baby girl.  He just loved his family and wanted to spend some extra precious minutes with them. On the way back to work the authorities believe the sun blinded him and he ran off the road and was killed.  My heart broke for his wife, precious girl, and all those who knew him.  But the real tears came as I helped lead worship at church that morning with the song “God is so Good”.  At that moment, I did not believe those words and I left in tears.

~I woke up from the anesthesia hearing my name being called.  A few seconds later tears filled my eyes as I realized the beloved twins that once were alive inside me, were now gone.  I still feel the ache and tears now fill my eyes as I type.

How as Christians do we grieve to the glory of God?  Do we plaster a grin and say we are “fine”?  Do we fake it till we make it?  Is that what this Christian life is about?  Only good things should happen to believers, never sad, confusing or hurtful times?  Oh sweet sister, the Bible is full of grieving people…even the Lord Jesus himself grieved…even God the Father grieved at the death of his Son!  Yes, there is a way to grieve to the glory of God that does not minimize our hurt and pain.

We first need to realize that death was not in the original Garden of Eden.  Sin was not there.  So when we grieve death, we do so rightly.  Death is the result of sin that came from Adam’s disobedience to God which carries with it the curse of death to all who followed in life.  It reminds us that this world is broken.  Yet it is also a reminder that Christ came to CONQUER death!  Death has been and will be defeated.  It was slain at the cross and we wait for Christ to come again and stop the dragon’s final fatal spasms.

So as Christians, death hits us hard as we know that it is a result of a sin laden earth.  We grieve because of the destruction it brings.  So let the tears and groans come.  Know the Father grieves too.  But do not grieve without hope.

  • Be honest with what you are feeling:
    • The psalms are full of examples; let them guide you (Ps 13, 22, 38, 42, 55, 59, 61, and 88).  Bring your grief to the Lord, he above all understands what it means to grieve.
  • Seek Godly comfort:
    • It will be easy to run to the TV, food, exercise, memories, music, work, or other people but they will not give you lasting comfort.  Jesus Christ is our lasting comfort as He is the one who conquered death by dying and rising again!  Run to Him above all else.  Yes, you can use the others as tools, but not your respite.  Christ is your ultimate comfort (2 Cor. 1:3-4).
  • Resist Temptations:
    • You will be vulnerable when you are in grief.  Resist the temptation to doubt God’s goodness, mercy, grace, and love.  You may not feel like He is those things but remember He never changes.  Be careful not to be angry with God, envy others who have not felt your grief, or fall into self-pity.  Serve others.
  • Use Your Resources:
    • This is when we really need to lean into our church family for support.  We need them to help us remember the Truth and not believe the lies.  Read the Word.  Read the Word.  Read the Word.  Even if you don’t feel like it.
  • Remember your Blessings:
    • The Lord does promise good out of all things.  Actively look for them

I had never understood the pain of a miscarriage until I had one.  Since that day, my heart aches for each couple who experiences this loss.  I can grieve with them, cry with them, hurt with them, and offer them hope as one who understands what they are going through.  Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 says that there is “a time for everything”, even a time to mourn, lose, die, and break down…but it also says there is a time to laugh, build up, and live. “There is a season for everything under the sun”.  Yes grieve, but don’t stay there, let the Lord use you to then comfort others (2 Corinthians 1:3).   Grief is real, but so is the comfort of Christ.

Your sister in Christ,

Colleen

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A Hope to Encourage

My Dear Sister,

I have been pondering lately and I wanted to share these thoughts with you in order to encourage you.  There are two ways to view life: with or without hope.  Looking back over time we can see the pain of wars, death, destruction of cities, prostitution, murder, betrayal, lies, homosexuality, death of marriage and the family, government failures, and even stealing the innocence of children.  We see the masses dismiss God through evolution, feminism, existentialism, and the “freedom” of religion.  The support and comfort of the family has turned to the power of individualism.  Hope has been deferred.

Or…has it?

Paul tells us in Romans 15:4 “For whatever was written in former days was written for our instruction, that through endurance and through the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.”

What hope comes through the encouragement of the Scriptures?  Don’t we see a thread of hopelessness through the kings, judges, and even the prophets?  Are not the psalms filled with cries to the Lord to defeat persecuting rulers and painful situations?  Yes.  But you also can see a thread throughout the scriptures screaming of hope.  This hope contrasts the darkness of each pain and cry of our hearts.  This hope is the ANSWER to each pain and cry of our hearts.  This hope is never deferred.  This hope never disappoints.  This hope is never a wish; it is a sure thing.

This thread of hope is the gospel.  The gospel reveals the hopelessness of sin so that the sweetness of the Savior shines sure.  With every pain written in scripture, the hope of a Savior is promised.  With every cry of the heart the hope of our savior is preached. This Savior’s birth is what is celebrated this Christmas.  This Savior humbled himself to come to earth as a man to live a perfect life so that he could die to pay for the hopelessness of our sin.  He rose again so that this hope is SURE forever. Our hope is a forward hope.  A hope that we have eternity with our Savior and Lord in the new Eden where there is no pain or tears.

So sweet sister, how are you viewing your life today? Is your focus on the hopelessness of this world or the hope of our Savior? Be encouraged today of the hope that is yours through Jesus Christ!

Your sister,

Colleen