No More Lonely Charades

Dear sister,

I have oftentimes felt lonely during certain seasons of my life. I have felt like I couldn’t be my true self because I was convinced that those I most wanted to be accepted by would reject me. This view of others was not a biblical one; it was not even a realistic one! It was only a fear that I allowed to be developed within my own heart.

In the summer of 2010, I spent two months away from home at a summer training program in Pigeon Forge, TN. I was with a group of like-minded believers from schools all over the southeast. There were lots of new faces and I felt lost among them. I felt like they wouldn’t accept me because I was raised differently, went to a different kind of church, and wasn’t as cool and comfortable around new people as others seemed to be. At that time, I was shy and very much NOT comfortable in my own skin. Now add to that an already introverted personality and you’ve got the recipe for feelings of loneliness.

I feared rejection and feared letting these new people into my life. As a result I tried wearing a mask that showed I was cool and confident, secure in Christ and ready for any adventure. It worked for a while, but by the end of the first six weeks (and , were only eight) I was weary of the charade.

In Genesis 2:18, God declares, “It is not good that the man should be alone.” Up until this point, everything that God had made he had declared good but it was not good that Adam had no companion. So God brought the creatures to Adam to have him name them but “there was not found a helper fit for him.” (Gen. 2:20) As humans, we need more than just a dog or a cat to keep loneliness at bay; we need to be experiencing intimate relationships with other human beings.

That summer was a breakthrough for me in that the Lord became my confidence and Christ became my identity. I no longer had to fear what people thought of me because I knew I was accepted by Christ—and isn’t that all that really matters when you have eternity in view?

Dear sister, if you are struggling with loneliness, take these truths to heart. You are accepted by the King and He loves you intimately. He loves you so much that He gave up His only Son for you so that He could claim you as His own. You are 100% secure in Christ and you cannot be lost. Never let fear of rejection or feelings of inadequacy triumph over this truly amazing love that Christ has for you. He will not give you up.

Under His wing,

Kayla