Hope in Failing

The Garden of Eden, (a.k.a.Paradise). No weeds. No decay, and none of those prickly sticker things. Can you imagine it? Can you picture Adam and Eve living in the garden in perfect harmony with each other and intimate communion with God? It must have been absolutely glorious. But it didn’t last, did it?

Genesis 3:1 says “Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the LORD God had made.” He approached Eve with the question “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden in the garden’?” Eve knew the word of the Lord. She knew that He had commanded her and Adam not to eat of the tree of knowledge of good and evil. And why should they have needed to? The Lord had abundantly provided for their needs in all the other trees and plants that he had created. But the serpent was perceptive. Already Eve had added to the command of the Lord. Her mind was ripe for deception. With great cunning, he got Eve to believe that God was holding out on her for seemingly no reason. So when Eve “saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate.”

Do you think that if Eve had known that taking that bite would shatter their literally perfect life, she would have done it? Do you think that she would have knowingly brought suffering, death, and destruction into her life? Of course not! But Eve was naive. Eve was unsuspecting. How could she have possibly known about such a thing as deception?

Sadly, the true story is that even though she wanted for nothing her heart went after the one thing she was forbidden to have. As a result, she plunged her world, and ours, into sin and darkness.

Perhaps you, like me, have had your own “Eve” moment. Maybe God presented you with something good but you couldn’t receive it because you were too busy looking elsewhere for your satisfaction. Perhaps Satan even approached you and said, “God wants to give you this, but what you really need is this and I can give you what you really need.” The end result of believing the lies of Satan is absolutely devastating. He promises life but all you will get is death. I can tell you that, dear sister, because I have experienced it firsthand. I have been deceived by his craftiness only to find myself drowning in a sea of sorrow, guilt, and regret.

When I realized that this had happened to me, and what I had done as a result, I was devastated. I had never experienced such raw emotions. Rage coursed through my veins. Sorrow and regret overcame me. Feelings of hopelessness and worthlessness nearly killed me. Thoughts such as “You idiot, Kayla. What is wrong with you?” plagued me. Yet, I am still here. I made it. I came out of it alive. Bruised, beaten, and bloodied, but alive. How? Where’s the hope after such utter desolation?

In Eve’s situation, we see that God dealt graciously with her. She kept her place as Adam’s wife and she still became the mother of all living things. God even promised that her Savior would come from her seed. Even amidst her brokenness, God blessed her.

This failure in my life was my “Damascus” moment. I, like Paul, was a Pharisee. I went to countless Bible studies, church every Sunday, and abstained from sex and alcohol. But my heart was a whitewashed sepulcher, laced with envy and discontent, and ruled by fear. It took brokenness for me to truly understand the gospel and my need of it, but the Lord has still dealt graciously with me. As severe as his mercy may seem right now, I am trying to have faith that he is working it all for my good and His glory. It’s hard walking in the uncertainty, but that is what faith is all about—being sure of what is hoped for and certain of what we do not see (Hebrews 11:1).

Recently, we remembered the death of Christ and celebrated his resurrection. This is where our hope must lie, dear sister. We must turn our eyes to the cross in faith, acknowledging that all of our sins—and our old selves—have been nailed to the cross with him. In his resurrection, Christ has conquered sin and death and they no longer have dominion over us. This doesn’t mean that we won’t ever stumble, but it does mean that we are no longer ruled by it. Take hope in that, my dear sister. His is the hope and the promise that will never disappoint.

Walking with you,

Kayla