Perfection Problems

 

Dear sister,

I hate to break it to you, but life is not perfect, and neither are you.When I was a kid, my mom would remind me, “Karlie, you are not perfect, and you never will be. You might as well realize this now.” This may sound harsh, but I really struggled with perfectionism as a kid, to the point of frustration. Basically, she was saying life is not perfect and putting my hope in something that I cannot obtain is hopeless. Telling someone they are not perfect may sound discouraging, but it can be exhausting expecting perfection in a fallen world.

So does that mean we stop striving for perfection? We desire perfection, but often look to the wrong places for perfection. I usually put my hope in planning. If everything goes according to plan, my life will be perfect. But life is not perfect; relationships fall through, cars break down, family members get sick, etc. So what do we do? Well, if you are like me, I worry. At least then I feel like I am being productive. But in the end I find worrying doesn’t accomplish anything other than raise my stress level.

“The Lord is at hand; do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”  (Philippians 4:5b-7)

I am not the one in control. Worry only reveals a heart that does not fully trust the Lord with all things. If God can take care of the birds of the air and the lilies of the field (Matt. 6:25-34), why do we doubt His care for you and me?

This year, I’ve made it my goal to stress less and trust God more. Will life go according to my plan this year? Probably not, and if hard times haven’t come, they are probably just around the corner. Yet what looks like failure or a mistake to us may just be God’s plan from the beginning. It’s frustrating when plans don’t work out, but that’s life. Thankfully, we cannot ruin God’s plan. His ways are above our ways and His timing is perfect, even if it does not fit our timeline. When faced with disappointments, we need to rejoice and trust in Him. After all, nothing is supposed to be perfect, on this side of heaven.

I guess my mom was partially correct, I am not perfect, but I am being perfected every day. As Paul says later in Philippians: “Not that I have already obtained this or am already perfect, but I press on to make it my own, because Christ Jesus has made me his own” (Philippians 3:12).

We will be perfect someday, as He is perfect. When life doesn’t go according to plan, we need to look to the One who is perfect and makes us perfect in Christ; rest in His perfection.

In Christ,

Karlie

God’s Plan Is My Hope

My Dearest Sister,

You may or may not know this, but I am the kind of person who likes to have a plan for everything. Knowing what’s going to happen next makes me feel grounded, secure and like everything is under control. You could definitely say that I am not a “fly by the seat of my pants” kind of person. While this may just seem like a funny little quirk, as I’m sure my husband will tell you it can be a real problem sometimes, especially when my plans start to fall apart. Being an Army wife, it can be especially difficult at times because there’s so much of the future that is unknown. Where will we be stationed after flight school? When will my husband get deployed? How long will it be until I can see my family back home again? It’s hard to plan around the unknown. But if I don’t make sure everything is in order, who will, right? Maybe you have felt this way yourself at some point.

This anxiety about the future has been on my mind a lot lately. It wasn’t until I had utterly “freaked” myself out about what our plans for the future were going to be that I remembered a favorite passage in Jeremiah: “For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope” (Jeremiah 29:11). It was almost as if God was saying “Hey, Lauren, you need to calm down and relax. Remember the peace I have in mind for you. Hope in me and the future I have planned for you, not the plan you’re designing for yourself.” As soon as I read that passage, it was like the floodgates of hope just opened up. God has everything under control. Even if I don’t know the plan, I can be sure that He only has my good in mind. I can always hope and rely on God’s goodness. What a reassurance that was to me! No matter how thoroughly I plot my plans can always fall apart, but God’s plans for me never fail. I always have a hope for the future in Him.

As marvelous as this promise is, the concept of hope extends even further. Not only do we have a reason to hope for our future in this life, but we have a greater and more glorious hope in the next eternal one. 2 Corinthians 4:16-18 highlights this hope: “Therefore we do not lose heart. Even though our outward man is perishing, yet the inward man is being renewed day by day…. we do not look at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen. For the things which are seen are temporary, but the things which are not seen are eternal.” When we are in Christ, we have a hope that surpasses our earthly troubles and worries. Too often we focus on the temporary of this life, the perishing things around us. What we should be focusing on are the spiritual things that are eternal and don’t pass away because that is where our hope is secure. So while the sea of life may be rough and toss us about in its swells, as Hebrews 6:19 says about the promise of eternal life in Christ, “this hope we have as an anchor of the soul, both sure and steadfast.” Even the waves of trials and heartaches – though they may be great – cannot overcome our hope in Christ. For you see, dear sister, even the pain and suffering on this earth have an end. When we start looking past the temporary and focus on the endless hope we have in Christ, suddenly the temporary isn’t as daunting anymore.

Even though I am trying to hope and trust in God’s plan for my future, it is very difficult sometimes. At least if I write down a schedule, I can see it and understand it because it’s directly in front of me. It is much harder to hope in the unseen things. But as Romans 8:24 so poignantly says “hope that is seen is not hope, for why does one still hope for what he sees?” Therefore, we can only hope in the unseen, the spiritual truths of God, not in the sure things of this life. Oh, how marvelous the Word of God is, the way it challenges us to change! And so, dear sister, I urge you to join me in focusing on your hope in Christ for your future, and not leaning only on your own plans for yourself; to remember your hope is not just in this temporary life, but in the eternal. What a better season to change our focus than this Christmas? Let us celebrate together the birth of the One who brought hope to the world, not just a temporary hope, but an eternal one. For while the visible things of this world will pass away, nothing can take away the hope we have in our Savior.

Your loving sister in Christ,
~ Lauren