A Good Friend

Dear sister,

I always thought I knew what friendship was until I was asked to write about it. Hmmm…I know that friendship on the east coast is hard at first but lasts forever while friendship on the west coast is instant yet can be fleeting…or so stereotypes tell. I do know a bad friendship when I see one. Yet when I try to define it I come up lacking. As a Navy wife living overseas and knowing a friendship may last for only a year or three, it makes me question even more what real friendship is. So what is friendship?
Funny enough, I found myself singing a song that my two year old listens to…forgive me for quoting song lyrics in the midst of this conversation…BUT, here is what Sovereign Grace Music is teaching my daughter…and me:

A friend will always think of others
A friend will overlook a wrong
A friend sticks closer than a brother
A friend is patient all along
Jesus, let me be the friend You are to me

CHORUS
A good friend, true friend
Here to help you through friend
Strong friend, kind friend
You can have what’s mine, friend
Best friend, sure friend
Humble and a pure friend
Lord, I wanna be a good friend

A friend will help me do the right things
A friend won’t lead me into sin
A friend will help me when I stumble
A friend will lift me up again
Jesus, help me find a friend who’ll make me wise

Wow, are you as convicted as I am? A humble and a pure friend, a friend that won’t lead me into sin, a friend like Jesus. Jesus. I never put friendship into the realm of theology before this letter to you. Yet when I asked my husband how he would define friendship, the first thing he said was to be like Jesus. Jesus lovingly and humbly rebuked His friends when they were in sin or being tempted to sin. He was there in the tumultuous storms with them. He gave his life up for His friends. Would I do that for my friends? Even if I only know them for a year or three? That’s what He did. Jesus is a friend of sinners, why? Because they are the ones that need Him…we are sinners. We need Him. We need to trust Him. We need to give our lives to the only true example of a lasting and meaningful friendship. Jesus, may the friendships that I make here on earth model the one you gave to me freely when I was at my worst and was not a friend back.

Your sister,
Colleen

Shush!

Dear Sisters,

I know it all. At least I like to think I do. As you can imagine, I often find myself needing to apologize. I loathe apologizing! So, when I read a devotion about an obscure verse in Proverbs advocating an approach that did not involve apologizing for my verbal errors, you can be sure I paid attention.

“If you have been foolish in exalting yourself or if you have plotted evil, put your hand on your mouth.” Proverbs 30:32

Dr. Gil Stieglitz points out, ”God’s inspired words — through Agur the son of Jakeh — gives us a very interesting solution to the problem of bragging about yourself or foolish self-promotion. He doesn’t say what one would think would be said — that you should apologize and admit you were guilty. Because if you did you would still be drawing attention to yourself…. The solution is to just stop talking. Put a hand over your mouth. Let the conversation go on without you. Let someone else determine the topic. Most likely they will not pick you as the topic. This will allow you to blend into the group and or to allow conversations about people and things that brings balance to the conversation.”

When I have stopped to think back over my conversations with others through the day, I often blush wondering how I could have thought some of my comments wise. At times in the midst of my silly diatribes, I have tried to bumble my way through an apology, searching for appropriate words, missing the opportunity and the mark. How much better it would be (though in many ways, harder) to just fade into the background, silent.

Something else is implied in the verse—yes, I may at times speak without wisdom and need to still my tongue; but first, I have to recognize the Holy Spirit is telling me to, “Shush!” Dear Sisters, until I reach the point of only speaking wisely, I pray I may always feel the nudge of the Spirit to close my mouth so I may not further myself when I should have only been singing His praises.

Running with you,

Rebecca