Scared Straight

Dear sisters,

The fake cobwebs, tombstones, and ghouls have already begun to appear in our housing community in Puerto Rico.  Families, seem to compete on who can have the scariest decorations, not to deter the kids, but to bring fun to their neighborhood romps.  How often do I slip behind a door or slink low to scare my husband when he comes home from work?  Why do we do these things?  We think it’s fun to make people jump as it gives us a moment of control over them. Horror movies do the same, they manipulate our emotions in order to get a certain response from us that they dictate. Our trust in what we have known as truth has been twisted and the result can be shivers down the spine, goosebumps, or even verbal screams.

That idea of known (or even perceived) truth being skewed is what scares me. When God asks me to trust Him over my own perceived truth, that’s when I shiver, get goosebumps, and even scream.  When you boil it down, it means that He is calling me to trust Him and His word over my perceived truth of having control in areas of my life.  Can I trust Him for my salvation?  Absolutely, no doubt.  I have no fear over that.  Can I trust Him with where He sends our family through my husband’s job? Absolutely.  I have no fear with going to any duty station as God has control over that, I accept that I don’t.

But…what about me submitting to my husband when I think he is wrong and I am right?  Can I trust the Lord with the husband He has given me? Shivers.  What about my kids?  Can I trust the Lord with their hearts and minds as I see them wanting their own ways rather than obeying me?  Goosebumps. How about me befriending THAT person? The Lord knows how I feel about them…can I trust Him that He will protect me through the heartache or embarrassment that may come?  Shivers. And just recently, can I trust the Lord when cancer and sickness consumes those that I hold dearest? Screams.

This is the scariest thing the Lord has asked of me.  To trust Him in all things, not just my salvation.  Trust is when I rely or place my confidence in someone or something.  I tend to rely on myself, to have confidence on my own abilities, education, or gifts.  I don’t trust the Lord when I have confidence in myself.  I doubt Him when he says to trust Him with my marriage, kids, family, health, or even my schedule.  My perceived reality of control is skewed.  The way I think life should work is challenged and often my response is fear, not trust.  Yet I am reminded of Proverbs 3:5-6, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding.  In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.”

Trusting in the Lord with my day to day life is the scariest thing He asks of me.  I have to remind myself that He made me, promises to take care of me, is good, is for me, and has me.  It is not a blind trust as He has proven Himself trustworthy not only to me, but for millions before me.  So sweet sister, as your perceived reality is skewed as the Lord calls you to trust Him rather than your perceived truth, you may shiver, have goosebumps, or scream, but don’t let that keep you from acknowledging Him to make your path straight. He will.